Suzy stared at the computer screen..she could see letters, words, sentences, numbers punctuation marks..none of it made any sense to her..almost like she had forgotten to read like she had never learnt..They looked like odd shapes stacked side by side to each other to form a block of shapes and arranged one above the other..She turned away..her whole world was losing meaning she was losing herself..her ability to think..Her colleagues stepped into her cubicle. She was holding a cup of coffee in her hand.”Coffee Suz?” she asked..Suzy looked at her and smiled..She could put on a smile like you would a comfortable pair of pajamas quick and easy…and she could look as radiant as the sun..no one would even doubt the burden of the pain she carried inside her..’No, thank you”, she replied ” “How are you?”..”Ohh nothing much ..did you hear..”
Her colleague rambled on about the latest office gossip..Suzy just couldnt focus..even though her eyes were planted firmly on her colleagues face. It looked like she was listening but, all she could think about the scandal that was happening in her own life..her husband Tim and the young playschool teacher..she had seen them flirting many times while picking up their youngest daughter Emily..She wasnt beautiful by any measure..attractive sure, with very good taste in clothes for a playschool teacher..you could see she paid a lot of attention to her looks…Suzy on the other hand had been too tired. Managing work, home and three kids with very little help from her husband had left her with very little time for herself.
Today she had’nt meant to spy but as she was heading for a bath, she noticed the lights on her husbands phone blinking on and off on the bedside table..It was on silent and he had left it there by accident as he stepped out to buy some milk….her inner voice spoke to her and almost involuntarily she picked up the phone and with a swipe of her finger unlocked the screen on his smartphone..he had five text messages all from ‘Mike’..she didnt know anyone with that name….she went ahead and opened the last one it said ‘see you at school..love spending time with you..miss you…cant wait..love you‘ she went ahead and read the other messages they hinted at time spent together and a weekend getaway..’so that was his business trip’…..her heart raced, she felt dizzy..retching sensations shot up from her stomach and up her throat..she felt as though the floor just collapsed beneath her feet….she deleted the messages and kept the phone back…she set breakfast on the table, packed the kids lunch, got dressed and got out of the house..she couldnt face her husband…she wanted some time to collect her thoughts….Time at the office wasnt particularly helping but atleast she was away..away from him and the stench of his ice cold betrayal….
She knew she would survive..she had her job,her mother would help with the kids….but what about her?..didnt she matter?..she felt so dispensable so worthless…nothing meant anything anymore…she cleared her table,switched off her system, called it a day and started back home…The drive home she visualised in her mind how it was that she planned on confronting her husband..he would deny all of it, ask her to forgive him,he would cry and plead..she would have none of it..she was going to be strong and resist..she would pack her bags and the kids and go to her mothers..she was going to be strong..she was ready….
She stepped into her house..The kids were home..they were on the couch watching TV instead of doing their homework…she didnt have the energy to shout she walked into the kitchen on the counter was a note …”Suzy, Im leaving. Goodbye, Tim“…
She stood there in the kitchen frozen..she felt numb..she could hear nothing..feel nothing..see nothing..nothing except smell the nasty stench of his betrayal…
Image courtesy: google images