Winter madness

The snow on the tree seemed so thick and heavy to the point the branches looked like it would break under the crippling weight of it all.

Sera was taking a walk that chilly Tuesday morning and looked forward to getting herself a cup of joe. She passed the tree and at that precise moment a gentle breeze blew and all the snow slipped off the branch and in one swift downward motion, an avalanche of icy cold fluff plopped right on top of her puny little head and over her shoulder.

You could imagine how flabbergasted Sera was, standing under the tree, covered in an icy heap. But, silly as this story is, few minutes after recovering from the blow, she let out a sharp shrieking sound like a crane or some wild bird you would normally see by the sea…

She laughed all that morning and on her way to the Starbucks and even afterwards when she got back home, cleaning the house, while doing the laundry and even as she cooked her dinner…Towards night time she seemed quiet but her husband saw her shoulders snickering from the laughter she was trying so hard to smother while she prepared her nightly cup of tea.

She chuckled in her sleep and the whole of next day. ‘Tis a funny hand the heavens dealt Ms. Sera for sure – as she laughed all through the winter without a cure.

The End

She stepped onto the middle of the street waiting for a car to come hit her, but, she found they just steered away, curving around her; the drivers shouting choice expletives as they sped away to meet their hurried deadlines – personal and professional places they needed to be.

Why?! she wondered. Why was she being spared every time, again and again?

She had lost count now…Please reveal my destiny she cried please reveal the purpose of my life! she begged to that unseen force of nature her mother had told her was a God that overlooked all of creation…

She stepped back onto the curb and with what felt like the force of a raging bull, she was run down by a stray dog chasing another. Before her brain could assimilate what had happened, she hit her head on the pavement – a deep wide gash on the side of her head; gaping like a pothole in the middle of an Indian road…she lay there motionless, a wetness tingling down the side of her face…

Time for love

They sat gazing at each other. The light of their computer screens illuminated their faces in the dark.He was seated in his home office she could see sports memorabilia and a huge foam finger hanging on his wall.Her room seemed neat and had a huge glitter LOVE & PEACE on the background…The specks of glitter glinted off the reflected light from the only light source.

They sighed together and couldn’t contain their desire for each other…If this was the real world they would just devour each other with their passion.

” I  love you” he said,

“I love you too….you need to sleep, it’s getting late” she said

” I don’t think I can sleep tonight…Kiss me” he said

She blushed and in the light of the screen her face turned a deep mauve.

” Good night ” she said ” I’ve got school tomorrow”

“Good night then,” he said trying to hide his disappointment, ” …see you in class.”

She shut down her computer removed her glasses and dropped her dentures into a glass of water, ate her nightly medicines and went to sleep.

COOKING A LA NU

After having fixed her breakfast of oatmeal and blueberries with a cup of green tea, Kayla walked up to the kitchen to prep for that evening’s dinner. Fried Rice was on the menu and Dragon Chicken.

She stepped into the kitchen and decided to cook a little differently today – Maybe she would cook naked! Wouldn’t that be unhygienic? She just decided she would take a bath. Stripped off her clothes Kayla began gathering the ingredients in her birthday suit. Soy sauce – check, Chilly sauce – check, rice,chicken….

As the wok heated up she felt a sharp sting on the side of her right thigh and the skin close to her perfectly round belly button – the oil in the wok had just reacted angrily to the tiny drops of water that had accidentally dripped into it…Yikes! bad decision perhaps?This small ‘mishap’ didn’t deter her from her decision to cook the entire meal the way she was. Soon, she felt her skin soak up the oriental flavors of the sweet and the chilly, the fresh bite of the spicy ginger dissolving the pungency of the garlic…

Suddenly she realized she just couldn’t go through with this charade…KIDS DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Loony Lines

The author looked at herself in the mirror and noticed the fine lines on her forehead and wished she had moisturized more often. Wisdom lines, laugh lines… all happy names for Senility’s unwelcome arrival leaving his unseemly mark with his fine tipped feather pen. She pictured him in her mind wearing a crazy looking hat getting his jollies off shouting ‘I’m here, I’m here!’…

Her thoughts were interrupted by her teenage daughter who had now joined her at the bathroom mirror to refresh her makeup. The author noticed how fresh and smooth her daughter’s skin looked until all of a sudden her face was upturned, her features were now stretched and the skin on her daughter’s forehead creased and folded into more than twenty lines. The young lady was trying to get a proper look at a tiny pimple on her chin.

‘Stop that right this minute’, the author shouted, startling her daughter…

“What?!!” the daughter snapped back.

“That – whatever you are doing with your forehead”, she said her long finger drawing imaginary circles on her daughter’s face.

“Mom, you are crazy” the daughter said and stormed out of the bathroom.

She was left alone once again with the lines on her face.

“Wisdom lines! bah! Loony lines that’s what you are”

The Bank robbers

They were friends before they were lovers. And now they were going to take their relationship to a whole new level –  from partners in sex they were going to be partners in crime.

They’d been gathering information on the local Bank of Demdon, a few miles from where they stayed and where each had a savings account, for four months now. Though their bank accounts were almost always empty, they by now knew everything about the place – when the bank would open and close, how many employees worked there, when the cash was loaded and unloaded and shifted into the teller counters from the vault, picking locks to figuring out passwords to safes and the tools they would need for all this – They had it all figured out.

“So we’re doing this” Celia asked Harry, her voice betrayed her nervousness.This move from hairdresser to bandit in broad daylight was a giant leap for her. The only  ‘secret weapon’ she had handled were a blow dyer or a curling iron and here she had thrust inside her bra a Beretta. She almost felt like a Bond girl at this point.

Harry was your average Joe plumber who one fine morning decided to go rogue..he had big dreams and limited talents for making money and then decided that robbing a bank would be the solution to all his problems…Rome sure wasn’t built in a day but the human mind can flip in seconds and they were about to find out how true this was.

Dressed in black, hair dyed teal blue, teased and coiffed like rockstars of the 80’s; so that it resembled a lion’s mane after it had been electrocuted, they drove to the bank and entered through the front door and in the quick and sure motion of tigers pouncing on their prey moved quickly towards the teller.

The teller that day was a young lady in her twenties who had just gotten back after her mandatory long leave; most of which was spent in therapy for an anxiety disorder. As she took a deep breath and told herself that ‘all was well and beautiful in this world’, she looked up and saw the new visitors dressed in black with sinister looking expressions.

What triggered her reaction next could have been the bright blue hair that seemed to have a life of its own in her eyes and everything she had learnt in therapy simply flew out the teller window. She began to shriek a shriek so loud, Harry felt his ear drums had shattered into a million gazillion pieces and the fact that Sally had joined the teller in this scream fest was definitely not helping…The teller in her frenzy had by now reached into her handbag and drawn out a fully loaded standard issue Glock and as Harry turned to face the teller again he found this lethal piece of machinery – over his nose right between his eyes.

Harry and Celia froze…They were so not prepared for this. Somehow in their mind the whole bank robbery- this situation, was so wonderfully drawn out with calm, composed – the right amount terrified – all too obliging bank employees.

A few hours later as Harry and Celia lay naked in bed after an hour of passionate love making, releived they were still free and alive, they recounted the horrifying events of the day.

Needless to say they were let go. The bank manager apologised profusely for the unseemly behaviour of the bank employee as apart from the crazy looking hair, Harry and Celia did seem like a normal everyday couple visiting the bank.

Harry got back to being a plumber and Celia got back to working at her local salon and they still have nightmares of banks and insane tellers and handguns going off in their face.

Accident

His family had been searching for him for weeks.Hoping, praying that he was safe. Seven families had already bid their loved one adieu. His father hoped he wouldn’t be among those numbers; that he wouldn’t have to bury his son.

I sat there feeling sad and anxious…trying to imagine the pain and the agony of uncertainty what do you do but yearn for their presence when you are missing a loved one…Wish that you knew a spell and with a swish of a wand they appear!

Breaking news! they found him…but…not all of him – his soul had long departed.

This person was no one I knew. We were neither related nor at any point in life acquainted but someone inside me was crying…weeping copious tears, wailing the loss of a stranger, extending her arms to embrace his kin by way of  comfort.

I watched the unfortunate turn of events and my eyes began tearing up. But soon it was not just my overwhelming emotions that were causing my tear ducts to overflow…The television screen was no longer clear and the room I was in had turned foggy. An acrid smell of grease burning overpowered me and the sharp shrill of the fire alarm beeping rang through the house…

Image courtesy: http://www.americanheritagepens.com

More Coffee?

As they sat there in the coffee shop sipping their coffee through the tiny apertures on the caps of their plastic coffee cups Herman stared out through the glass window and watched the automobiles passing by. Sherry was busy reading her book…She had just picked it up from the library that afternoon and hadn’t decided whether she liked it or not, but until then she decided she would continue to read.

Herman enjoyed these moments where they wouldn’t talk. He was the type of guy who enjoyed a woman’s company but didn’t care much for conversation. Sherry on the other hand loved to engage in small talk but found it futile to converse with Herman – their wavelengths just didn’t match..Any efforts at having a meaningful conversation would end with one of them exiting the scene in exasperation.

But she liked having him around. She liked how his brain worked – his logic, his reasoning… She felt he was a calming influence to her normally impetuous temperament. He kept her from running and crashing into stone walls and hurting herself.She loved his strong hands…

“I need more coffee” she said,” I’m going to get another cup; do you need me to get you something?”

Herman looked up and simply moved his head a whole one eighty degrees once and then back again to answer her question.

Sherry walked up to the barista and ordered a hot cup of vanilla latte in the smallest size. She noticed the barista was cute in the most obvious way and had the most gorgeous dimples as he smiled and took her order….’Too young’ she thought to herself. As she waited for her coffee she looked across the coffee shop to Herman as he sat there looking out the window just as she left him…

My Forever Valentine

“Ouch!” Lea had accidentally cut her finger while slicing carrots for her salad on her brand new Mandolin slicer…She was super excited as now she could have the perfect juliennes for her salads – a couple of swift sweeping motions up and down and there they were – perfectly uniform veggies…She had gotten a little too enthusiastic with the slicer that day and the gaping gash on her thumb didn’t look very pretty…She stuck her thumb in between her teeth and with her tongue slowly and gently applied soft pressure on the wound to stop the blood that seemed to flow nonstop like water from a broken faucet.

With her thumb properly tended to and bandaged she moved on to stir the lamb that was stewing on the stove…The rich aroma of the spices wafted through her kitchen – ‘Lamb Tagine’ – Tom’s favorite! Lea and Tom had been married for two years now and Valentine’s Day was an important milestone in their journey of togetherness, as it was on a Valentines day three years ago that Tom had popped that very important question that would change their lives forever.

With her lamb cooking, her bread rolls ready and out of the oven and her salads tossed and dressed to perfection she began laying the table. She took out her vintage lace linens which were a family heirloom – each piece was specially hand made by her great grandmother and it was her gift  to her on their wedding day.

The table looked lovely when she was done – with her candles lit and rose petals delicately and tastefully strewn all around. At the center of the table, she placed a beautiful china bowl with chocolate covered strawberries.

“Hi honey!” She said, turning to Tom who was by now seated and ready at the other end of the table.

“I cooked your favorite lamb” she said and placed a plate of the Michelin star worthy tagine in front of him. She was always one for keeping up appearances both in her private life and among friends and she prided herself on her cooking and presented every dish like it was a work of art.

“Remember the Valentine’s day after we had first met, Tom? You sent me a box of my favorite chocolates and a violinist in the middle of my meeting at work…I still remember the jealous looks all my co workers were giving me…especially Doreen…oh!..You totally took me by surprise.”

“More bread?”  She asked and moved the bread basket closer to Tom’s side of the table…”That was the night of our first kiss…I remember it like it was yesterday, you were so nervous…It was beautiful” she glanced up at Tom and then reached out for the strawberries..”mmm delicious” she loved the combination of the chocolate and the strawberries – the silky smooth taste of the chocolate mingled with the fresh juicy bitter sweet explosion of flavors from the strawberry – like a love story just erupted in her mouth.

She picked up the plates and began clearing the table. As she picked up Tom’s plate she bent down and kissed him on the cheek,

“I love you.” she whispered into his ear.

It was a beautiful Saturday night and as she did the dishes, she looked out her kitchen window, she could see a single bright star shining in the night sky. Having cleaned the kitchen she decided to do some reading in the living room.

“Good night Tom…Happy Valentine’s Day…I wish you had never cheated on me.”

Tom sat there at the dining table his face ashen and a shade of bluish grey, one of his eyes was no longer in its socket and the other – on the verge of falling out.His body was putrid and bloated and in the solo beam of moonlight that streamed in through the gap between the curtains on the kitchen window you could see a bullet mark right through his heart.

Driving home in the rain

His calls were unrelenting – he was crazy about her – or so she thought in the beginning of their relationship. If he couldn’t reach her, his calls and the messages would come pouring in – almost like the rain she found herself stuck in that evening. It wasn’t too late after they had met that she realized that he was merely a child in a grown man’s body.

For him she was just another prize that he had to win. And like all the “toys” he would he would buy for himself – he would fiddle with them for some time and then simply throw them away.

He was used to being neglected, ignored as a child and he was used to demanding attention. Love was an alien concept and yet a word he very often used…and abused

“Julia I love you, please pick up the phone”

She read the message on her phone. It was the tenth message he had sent her in the span of the last ten minutes. She wasn’t sure if she should reply or acknowledge his calls or messages. It was becoming unbearable for her – he was becoming unbearable to her. His self obsession, paranoia and his lack of sensitivity was all getting on her nerves. She knew she had to move out of this toxic relationship and stop playing the victim.

The weather that evening was terrible and she wasn’t sure when she would be able to get home. The rain kept pouring in torrents on her wind shield. Dense, heavy droplets of sky tears – there was only so much that even Mother Nature could take. She had been stuck in traffic for almost an hour now and even though the wipers swished quick and fast the fog and the water were unyielding and made it impossible for her to make out how far the line of cars extended before her…

“C’mon, move already!” she yelled in exasperation.

Sam Smith sang soulfully on the radio-

” When you call me baby…

I know I’m not the only one”

Slowly she lowered the glass of the window on her side of the car and a blast of icy cold air hit her skin. She closed her eyes and while her phone continued to beep and blink she asked herself where she was in a hurry to get to anyway. Driving back home to her lonely one bedroom apartment she would still be tormented by thoughts of him. She wondered why she kept repeating these mistakes…Then again was she getting addicted to the chaos that was her life? What would happen if she finally did the inevitable and just let him go? Would she miss the attention? Would she miss him and his craziness?

She let the rain fall on her face and she felt the drops of nature’s pain stream down her face dissolving her own.

“Its over Ted.” she heard herself say over the phone. She heard angry rants on the other side as she cut the line and placed the phone beside her.

The rain had stopped and the cars had started to move. Slowly and surely she drove home.