My dear

My dear,

I’ve always wanted to tell you this, but for want of words – you know I have never been good with them- I have chosen to just be quiet and ignore the white elephant in the room. The problems we faced, I hoped it would go away…if you never spoke about it, it would just disappear. Well, it never did and it grew like a tiny ball of snow rolling downhill into a giant snowball – making the rift between us that much more wider.

My dear, I love you and I always will. I know you know this but I guess you deserve better. I just read somewhere that sometimes love is not in possession but in letting go…like a rose bud once plucked ceases to bloom so will you¬†be – the beautiful rose that you were meant to be…your fragrance and beauty to be admired and enjoyed by those more deserving.

My dear, do not hate me for not knowing how to express myself. It is like a handicap -an emotional one I’ve lived with from years of abuse and a debilitating shyness. I hope to overcome this someday so that I do not lose someone so beautiful and vivacious as you from my life again. You brought music to my dreary world…and even though it seemed like I didn’t enjoy it, even as I sat at my desk ‘working’ my soul danced and celebrated – ¬†enthralled by the beats and the fervor of the jazz you loved so much.

My dear, I hope you find happiness and love and peace forever.

Love,

Ferg