Getting back to work after a break

Hello all…It’s been a while. A lot has happened and I’m still struggling to find my bearings in Bangalore. Good news (or bad I’m not sure at this point) I’ve started working again. This time it’s a writing job! ( I know!!considering I like to write, this does sound like an interesting turn of events).

I’ve joined a content management company and my work involves reading text books on a varied range of subjects from psychology to religion to management. Language training sessions are great and begin to throw light on punctuations – some choose not to show up on certain occasions and while others show up where they are not invited  and subject-verbs can sometimes ‘disagree’. It’s a process I hear and I’m getting there…

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If any of you are wondering how it feels getting back into the work force after a break. The experience has had its ups and downs…Well, let me explain, I’ve been –

The Samurai and the Emotional wreck: I can tell you now that the experience wasn’t easy and wasn’t very difficult either. That said, I cried like a baby on my  first day. Saying bye to my darling princess was not easy in the least. Even while I sat in the training room where we were filling out forms and finishing up the joining formalities I kept thinking about lil Ems back home.Thank God she was in safe hands and her safety and well-being were not a problem. I always thought I was a very practical sort of person who would do what needed to be done without feeling any emotion like a Japanese Samurai – Nishi the Bushi (Bushi means Japanese Samurai and yes, I realise that sounds very odd with my name and the rhyme just makes it worse) but let me tell you I was Nishi the Mushy on my first day at work. One of my colleagues said she thought I had my b**** face on that day and that I looked kind of intimidating but the truth was, I was feeling bad having left little Ems behind. Don’t worry it’s been a month now and we’ve both adjusted to the new schedule.

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The Debutante and the Elderly matron: Yea so I don’t know if you guys remember I celebrated my 30th birthday here on my blog two years back and it was a nice day. I dreaded the three zero but as it turns out nothing actually changed and things only got better- emotionally I felt mature and in control, I grew more accepting of myself and the way I looked, I felt healthier and more energetic that I did in my twenties…so life was in fact getting better. But here I was at the workplace starting at the bottom with a bunch of twenty somethings. So when I finally got to talk to the cute guy in office and he asked me in a voice interspersed with equal doses of curiosity and innocence how old I was…In my mind I was like..

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…in the end however, I remember squirming and with every ounce of my being trying hard to be honest and finally I voiced my truth- I’m thirty one. Hell, when my nephew asked me how old I was when I blew the candles on my cake this birthday I acted all “caszh’ and told him that I was  ‘forever twenty one’ (the name of the store I bought the dress I was wearing or my age he can go figure) but seriously folks – if I have to be very honest age don’t matter.

The Zen master and the Drama queen: There have been several occasions in my one month of working that I’ve vacillated from being completely in control of my emotions and feelings to when I’ve totally blown my fuse. When my friend at office, lets call her Sally, called me a drama queen after witnessing my numerous meltdowns at the bank while setting up my account and at the office, it made me think and reflect…Maybe I was overreacting, maybe it’s not right to expect people to behave in a certain way when perhaps they were never taught those values in the first place. Lack of professionalism, self-centredness and a blatant disregard for others have become a trademark of majority of the youth in India today. I know I sound very preachy and judgemental at this point but I sincerely yearn for those old school values of chivalry and sincerity…Yes, Mister please explain to these kind folks what I mean…

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When you start something new and after you’ve taken a break, you tend to compare things to how it used to be and how it was. I consider myself fortunate however to have had the opportunity to experience these things and though it does get a little emotionally draining at times there is always an adjustment phase when you are trying to learn and adapt to the new surroundings and new ways of life. How have you all been?

 

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Indian summer

It’s 95 degrees Farenheit in Bangalore right now. The ceiling fans been turned up to the fastest speed setting, and I’ve already downed two liters of water since morning. In my mind I’m thinking its nice I’ve got my own natural sauna out here. Wherever I go I sweat to the point my clothes are drenched and my hair! let’s just not go there…I envy all you lucky “bees”(since this is a kid friendly blog ;)) with naturally straight hair because it ain’t easy maintaining a sleek polished look with your hair looking like a place where some bird lays its eggs.

I tell myself sweating is my body letting go of its toxins. The silver lining-I’ve not put on any weight and some of my friends tell me I look like I’ve lost a few pounds – Its water weight I’m losing for sure!

Then again, Bangalore is better than my home state Kerala, also known as-‘God’s own country’ with its lush greenery and beautiful backwaters…when it comes to the heat this year, I’m pretty certain, a few more degrees and it could very well be the ‘Devil’s own hell’! There were moments when I was back home, sorting through my old clothes and knickknacks in the attic like storeroom on the top floor of my house, copious rivulets of sweat flowed continuously from my forehead down my face in torrents.

The flight from the U.S to Bangalore was smooth. American Airlines from Salt lake to Los Angeles followed by Qatar Airways from Los Angeles to Qatar and from Qatar to Bangalore.The airline food was nice and so was the service. I didn’t sleep a wink on the flight and chose to watch a couple of inflight movies back to back – Maleficient had me crying like a baby – all the sadness of leaving America gushed out in torrents, The Intern, Peter Pan….Melissa Mccarthy’s- The Spy left me in splits-everything was for the best.

We’ve been travelling a lot since we got here. So far, I’ve been to Bangalore, Mumbai and passed through Tamil Nadu on the way to Kerala in three weeks! So including Kerala I’ve covered four states in three weeks! Em’s been meeting a lot of her extended family on these trips…many tight hugs and loving kisses from loving grandaunts and uncles and cousins. Must say my little girl is holding up quite well from all this travel and change in climate. Except for a cold in between she’s been fine…Praise God! Thankfully the jet lag lasted didn’t more than a week, but the travels have left me exhausted.

We’ve also been meeting up with interior designers to do the kitchen and the wood work at our new apartment so that’s another major thing we need to finalize. How have you all been? All gearing up for the hot summers I hope! Till next take care luvs!

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Monday Rambles – Fears

Hey everyone! I’m still here. Things that were supposed to happen months ago are happening only now. Though the plan was to start back in January due to the husband’s work we had to stay back another month and when finally tickets were booked and the itinerary confirmed for the end of Feb, again he was asked to stay back for another month and so here we still are and hoping that we will finally fly to India this weekend – Saturday to be exact. Looks like Easter Sunday will be spent in – flight.

Its been crazy and although ideally I would’ve liked to be all calm and composed and zen like, reality has been far from it… When you’ve prepared your mind for something and you hear that your plans are not to be there is this feeling of powerlessness and uncertainty which don’t quiet agree with me. I hate surprises and the Cancerian that I am – I hate feeling insecure.

I’m a firm believer in the adage – Everything happens for a reason and so I settled down and decided to find the silver lining in my ‘situation’

Problem (s) – I feel stuck, I have a home in India I need to set up and being in another country further delays our settling in, I need to find a job so that the break in my resume doesn’t turn into a gaping pothole, We’ve discontinued Em’s school so shes at home and every moment I don’t engage her ends up with me feeling terribly guilty, I miss my family and friends who I’ve not seen for so many years now.

All these problems I know will disappear once we get to India but there is still this nagging thought at the back of my head…A fear that I may get sucked up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and lose my voice again. If I’m not creative I don’t exist. I also fear being consumed by my fears.

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Dear Reader, I’m sorry I’m drawing you into my fears and insecurities and I know I started this blog as my happy place. Where I can be happy and where if anyone drops by can feel happy and maybe inspired (?) 🙂

I hope you all pray for me and as I step into what feels like a new chapter in my life, your good wishes and friendship will remain because, you are all so special to me!

Wishing you all a wonderful week!

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016

Greetings one and all! It’s New Years Eve here and maybe already New Year in some parts of the globe so HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016 to all my fellow bloggers!

I saw my Aunt had posted on her Facebook page that, the results of an online survey, in the New Year she could look forward to – ‘More muscles’, great love, career advancements and lots of travels. Everyone in the family had a good laugh…Who writes these online questionnaires anyway?!!

My mum just sent me a New Years wish

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Looking back at 2015, I say it surely wasn’t one of the most stellar years of my life. Definitely one of those so – so years where I’ve achieved nothing ‘ground breaking’ nor experienced anything ‘earth shattering’ …To condense 365 days in a nutshell I would call it – a year of ‘certain uncertainties’, lags and difficult decisions.

In 2015, I was actively involved in the lives of friends in my real life and less in my virtual world.

Smidgens of wisdom from 2015 –

  1. EI is important!! Always maintain Emotional Integrity in relationships. I’m sure we all have those moments where you feel like you were dropped into that awkward social environment where you know being friends with a person is not conducive in the long run, but you thwart your inner ‘ESPN’ (I hear you Karen of Mean Girls.. :D) and carry on anyways…Word of advise – DON’T
  2.  Regrouping is important!! Be mindful of your goals and direction in life. Take time off in your day to regroup. People and places throw you off track but as Tina would say, when its time to shut down –
  3. KISS Always!! Keep it Simple Silly!You think you’d like to take over the world and do it all and be nice to everyone…you buy stuff you do and don’t need, when what you should actually be doing is- just say a few words of gratitude to all people and things for the good and bad lessons learnt and let go! I think we all need some Marie Kondo in our lives

I have a huge announcement. The New Year I will be moving from the U.S back to India. I don’t know if you all knew but we were here because of my husbands work assignment and it has sadly come to an end and we fly back around February 2016…So here’s to New beginnings!

Happy New Year everyone!

 

 

Monday Rambles – Hardly gone just rambling on

If you read the title and felt it didn’t make any sense – it doesn’t! :). I know its been a while since I’ve (virtually) chatted with you all, mommy hood just seems to take up all my time these days.Despite all my good intentions to enroll Ems in preschool last year it didn’t happen. The pre school here requires that she be fully potty trained and I am proud to say WE’VE finally achieved the feat of going to the potty unassisted and she starts school next month!

She’s a good child no doubt about that. She’s not very fussy and listens to what I say, but you know as a mum you always wonder if you are actually doing enough and being over critical of your ‘mothering skills’. So I got the workbooks and the flashcards and the three line books to prepare her for the wonderful world of learning and growing up ahead of her.

She’s picking up and loves singing the Alphabet song and counting from 1-20 (with a few number jumbled up between 11 and 20) But trust me – teaching a child is no easy feat! I always thought of myself as a very patient person but I guess I proved myself wrong. I yelled, threw tantrums, had a ‘Pity Party’ (did you see that song by Melanie Martinez from The Voice? ) cried and then realized my approach was all wrong.

I had to be the PARENT instead of the BIG BABY I had turned into and set the example. I calmed down and stopped the pushing and the nagging and then things just started falling in place. Maybe a series on my experiences as a mom later.

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Hope you are all having a great summer! Have a great week guys!

Monday Rambles – After a break.

So it’s been a long break…A bit too long perhaps? The reason I say this is, coming back, I just didn’t know where to start with the catching up and I just kept putting off my ‘Monday Rambles’.It kind of felt like coming back to work after a long vacation and finding out you forgot to ask someone to water your Lucky bamboo and you find out your lovely plant has long gone to plant heaven. I guess I’ve warmed up and stretched enough now isn’t it? so, let’s get right to it shall we?

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Bye Bye Lucky Bamboo.
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Yay Spring!

Isn’t it great that Spring is here? I for one am relieved and happy to have said good bye to the dreary winter.

And what have I been up to during my break? The aim was to do some introspection, be inspired and to perhaps dig a little deep into my creative cauldron. Can’t say the break was all I had expected it to be, because life can get a little too overwhelming and you have no option but to be one hundred percent available to tackle whatever is thrown your way (read husbands work schedule, spring allergies).But all’s well now and when you read about the earthquake in Nepal and the thousands who have lost their life and are injured you just remember to be thankful and to appreciate all the good things you have.

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I know Thanksgiving is over but I guess its never a bad time for some pecan pie … 🙂

I did however, do a bit of baking – Mostly pies – a pecan pie, sweet potato pie and an oreo cheesecake pie…but the last one didn’t involve so much baking more of mixing and leaving in the refrigerator to set. So all the hogging against my better judgement has left me 13 pounds heavier…yes you read right the number is a one followed by a three..which brings the total number of pounds I need to lose to thirty five.I’m trying not get worried. Just being positive – you dont want your stress hormones to add to the damage already done now do we?

Talking about binging, I binge watched all seven seasons of Mad Men on Netflix and have fallen in love with the fashion and style of the 60s and ahem…John Hamm who plays Don Draper the central character of the show. Mathew Weiner and his team of writers who wrote the show are simply brilliant – the way they’ve drawn out the different characters in the mad mad world of advertising in the 60’s intertwining it with all the major political and socio economic milestones – the Kennedy assasination, the Civil Rights movement, the booming economy, the Hippy culture, the introduction  of computers into mainstream business – this show had me hooked.

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I’ve also started reading Austenland by Shannon Hale…I’ve just finished with the first chapter and being a fan of all the works of Jane Austen I must say I’m curious to see how the plot is going to develop.

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I’m looking to make some changes to the blog or maybe even set a theme for the next month. The thought is still ‘Work In Progress’ and hopefully I should be able to come up with something concrete very soon. I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Birthdays – noone youer than you.

Mondays I guess I should dedicate to my rambles…Its the start of the new week you are just recovering from the hangover of a weekend so swiftly gone by and recouping for the challenges of the new week. So no taxing the brain just some regular chit -chat..

Last weekend was special since Friday was my Birthday

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I had intended for a birthday post however, I got very busy and that did not happen..As they say its never too late to write a birthday post. Noones said that before?!!

Sure birthdays are all about getting a year older and if you want to be a grumpy grinch about it..sure you can but I dont intend to be one..Birthdays are joyous occassions Its the day to celebrate ..In the words of a woman I admire, Oprah Winfrey, “The more you praise and celebrate in your life the more you have to celebrate.”..So true isnt it?

The day was made specially special by all my dear friends and family and their wishes..its the thought that counts. I dont need the flowers or the gifts the point is you remembered( with the help of Facebook or not) and picked up the phone to call or your laptop to type out that message and that is the most special thing and the best birthday gift you could give me…See how low maintenance I am.

From my husband on the other hand I expect flowers, chocolates the whole shebang (not so low maintenance now am I?) and does he deliver on all the above ..Nope! and he rarely disappoints.

Which makes me ask these very important questions to all my dear lady friends who may be reading this…

Why are some men like this?..

Would’nt it be nice to wake up to flowers and birthday cake on our birthday ladies? or is it just me?

Okay so thought maybe I shouldnt just let this go this time as the key to any good relationship is communication..

I asked him and he said…he said…wait for it………….”I thought you were on a diet.”

Well…who diets on their BIRTHDAY!!

Jokes apart he did take me out for dinner.We went out to The Cheesecake Factory and I pigged out on a huge plate of Shepherd’s pie..Yes thats huge..and I couldnt finish it..Guess Im not that big a pig afterall.. 🙂

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This birthday was even more special to me since I was starting a brand new decade of my life..Yes..I turned twenty !

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I was just kidding..Whhaaat you already knew I was lying! Gawwsh..you guys! To make myself feel a lil special I went out and got a haircut ..It was long overdue as you would notice from the photo below.. here are the hair headshots before and after..nothing drastic just a couple of layers…

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So all in all it was a quite birthday but a special one and I wished myself borrowing  words from the great Dr. Seuss

Today you are you!

Thats truer than true

Theres no one alive

who is youer than you!